Tough week!

I originally started this post last week-

Thursday a week ago my mother-in-law came to stay with us to see how living together might be. Well, It has been tough! We have known for awhile that the RIGHT thing to do is take care of her and serve her. First of all because it is scriptural-Honor thy Father and Mother, that it may go well with you-Second of all because the Lord had convicted our hearts in the area of her Faith. She grew up in the Methodist Church but after she left good ol' Alabam' she never went back. Her life was one that has placed her in a position now where she is very bitter, angry, selfish and lonely. In the five years that my husband and I have been together she and I have butted heads quite a few times. I responded by avoiding and distancing myself. That way my husband wasn't mad at me for the way I treated her and she could have her son all to herself(which is what she wants anyway).

All in all I knew I wasn't handling the situation the right way and I wanted to change but it would take a miracle. Since the God I serve is a God of miracles He has truly done a work. Larry and I have repented for the way we treated her and in the last few months have seen our hearts soften in regards to spending time with her and taking care of her. We even ventured to the place where we were willing to take full responsibility for her and let her live with us. This is what brings us to the two week trial period of her staying with us. It was eye opening, hard, different but most of all a spiritual battle I just wasn't prepared for. All of the junk that operates inside of my mother-in-law because of her past and her hurts brought a ton of spiritual warfare into the house. She battles depression and this was one of the areas that hit me hard. If you know me I am always up(happy, encouraging etc...). But it just so happened that the week she stayed with us the kids got sick and I was home ALOT, on top of her being there and the struggles she has with depression I found myself in a pretty big slump and I am still trying to recover(10/31/07).

At the end of her stay she was very happy about returning to her home, and we were glad to be back to just the four of us. Amidst all this relief though I started to deal with guilt. Guilt that I should have done better, that she should have enjoyed herself more, that we should have related more, that I should have gotten her outside more, that I just basically didn't measure up to all that my big mouth said I was going to do and I feel terrible. The biggest area that hits the guilt right home is the fact that we have decided we are better for her if we go and serve her, then if she comes and lives with us. I had lofty ideas in my head about the glorious things we could do if she lived with us. I had it all planned out, but forgot one major area and that is her emotional and spiritual baggage that effected our home. Larry and I have prayed and know that we are released from the Lord to serve her this way because she has done wonderful things in her past to set her up financially to have in home care to aid her. All this has been taking up alot of my time. My emotional time, my time with my kids, my thought life and I am still battling to find my peace in the choices we as a couple have now made. Think of me when you go before the Father- I want so badly to do what is right and not fall short of what I could have done or been in my mother-in-law's life. Also pray that she will release that hurt and bitterness that has robbed her throughout her life.

Thank you!