The Quiet

I sit here this morning in silence. My children are gone, my husband's at work and it is so quiet. Let me be a little more specific about the quiet, what I hear is quiet, but my mind is very busy. I have been by myself since about 4:15 yesterday and it is taking quite sometime to get my mind to receive the rest and quiet that this break is sure to give. I find first of all a list of things that I could do without kids. Like every mom, first on that list is cleaning uninterrupted. The beautiful way my house could look for more then 8 hours, the crumbs eliminated from my feet, the bath toys out of the sink, the toothpaste off of the counter, the dirty diaper finally in a grocery sack, the shoes in the closet, oh my! the list can go on and on. How do I not do anything and not feel bad???
My husband told me, enjoy the day, rest , do what you want to do and I will see you tonight. This of course was said with a smile that leads me to believe that I should be prepared for that wonderful Marriage ministry.
Overall I am battling feeling guilty for not doing what I think should be done here at the house with hours free from children and a schedule. If you know me I have been home more and today I was just going to be home doing chores and loving on my kids. I guess it really causes me to examine who I am when I am alone. Part of me wants to just go be with somebody else or be BUSY so that I don't listen to what is on the inside. Another part of me is confident that when I get alone and especially in His presence, I am satisfied more then any friend or shopping spree could provide. As I think about it I really love good music and it changes my whole perspective every time I listen and allow the words to effect me. Siesta's I believe I have found my way!! I am going to go listen and worship the Most Holy God and have an absolutely wonderful day.